"I'm a stupid moron, with an ugly face, and a big butt, and my butt smells, and I like to kiss my own butt."
Johan Santana lost (and lost it) as the Milwaukee Brewers defeated the New York Mets 6-3. Santana made an awful throwing error that concluded an awful bottom half of the 4th inning.
With one out, Santana walked the opposing pitcher Mike Burns. Then Corey Hart hit a fly ball that CF Fernando Martinez overran, and slipped making the adjustment to get back to it as it fell behind him for a double. Then Santana walked J.J. Hardy to load the bases. Pitching coach Dan Warthen visited Santana on the mound, then as he was heading back to the dugout had words with home plate umpire Jim Wolf (brother of Randy) and was ejected. Then Ryan Braun hit a double over LF Gary Sheffield’s head, clearing the bases. Braun advanced to third on the throw home, which got past catcher Omir Santos. Santana picked it up and fired it over the head of third baseman David Wright into left field and Braun completed his trek around the bases, giving the Brewers a 5-2 lead.
Having now lost 5 in a row, the Mets have Moe-mentum. The harder they try, the more things go wrong. So to make what would inevitably be another horrible post game wrap a little more fun, I’ve decided to take some popular Moe Szyslak (owner/operator of Moe’s Tavern as seen in ‘The Simpsons’) lines and alter them a little bit to be more Mets-relevant. Enjoy!
- Met fans, lighten up! You’re making happy hour bitterly ironic.
- The Phillies think they’re so high and mighty, just because they never got caught driving without pants.
- The Mets are better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. Not that fancy store bought stuff, they can’t compete with that.
- Hey Met fans, what’s with the glum face? You glum or something? Eh, glummy?
- I was the happiest guy in the world, but fate likes to play a little game called “Up Yours, Met Fan!”
- The Mets have been called ugly, pug ugly, fugly, pug fugly, but never ugly ugly.
- Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but the Mets are no good at anything.
and in conclusion
- This is the stupidest post game wrap I’ve ever read…and I’ve read the entire ‘Sweet Valley High’ series.
Please visit fox sports for the box score.
After the last out
15 comments
fongy2
6/30/2009-11:20pm at 11:20 pm (UTC -4)
Omars got a plan here,thats the reason
for no moves.More loses equals more
ping pong balls! Errr, wait, maybe
thats not it. Okay,okay I got it!,
hes letting us fall as far behind
as he can so that our second half
march toward the playoffs will be
that much more dramatic. No?
smooth
6/30/2009-11:33pm at 11:33 pm (UTC -4)
this team sucks! 4th place will be all ours come monday, book it. Im the biggest Johan fan but im sick of him throwing games like this, enough with the excuses. His velocity wasnt there again, and his location was off. Can he hold a 1run lead for once this season or even possibly pitch a complete game? You can stick a fork in this team. They shouldnt even bother trying to bring back reyes this season
steveo
6/30/2009-11:40pm at 11:40 pm (UTC -4)
this ones on santana
baseballmercenaries
6/30/2009-11:55pm at 11:55 pm (UTC -4)
Times like these really show what fans are made of, I as one AM NEVER GIVING UP with my Mets…i kno you guys feel the same way. Every up and down happy, the good and bad…lets never give up on our team and on the bright side we saw a hr today not many of those lately..
stickguy
7/1/2009-12:02am at 12:02 am (UTC -4)
Quite the mess. I will never give up hope of a miracle until they are eliminated, and I still can’t gathom how they are still only 3 games out. But realistically, I don’t think the big turnaround is right around the corner.
I think the biggest concern though is getting lost in all the angst. SOmething seems wrong with Santana. He has pretty much looked like crap for the last 6 weeks or so. Even the few decent games he threw have been nailbiters (tightrope walks?) Lots of baserunners, tons of hard hit balls, poor control and less speed.
I just keep thinking something physical is wrong, and and time now we see the big red cross, and “MRI” next to his name.
But still, if they can just get a few good pitching performances over the weekend, they are right back in the race.
Or could be in 4th place by tomorrow (although still 3 games out!)
metsfan4decades
7/1/2009-12:06am at 12:06 am (UTC -4)
Not giving up until we’re mathematically eliminated. Period. I’m holding out for August when reinforcements arrive.
Closed door meeting after the game. So a couple of days ago, Jerry says ‘we’re a below .500 team right now’. Tonight, the message is ‘we can get this done. We’ve got to get it done with what we have’. ‘I see the morale and where it’s heading and it’s my job as manager to keep the message of team play and getting it done front and center’. Or words to that effect.
Now I know why, as a sometimes long suffering Met fan, it feels like riding a roller coaster. The message and the mood from the skipper changes daily. No wonder I can’t keep up.
At least it’s entertaining…….
baseballmercenaries
7/1/2009-12:11am at 12:11 am (UTC -4)
we need someone to fire them up and it has to be a player..actions speak louder then words
gategem
7/1/2009-12:32am at 12:32 am (UTC -4)
Firing them up is not the problem even though at times they handle the baseball as though it was on fire. Just remember the famous words from the Man of La Mancha, “But sire, whether the stone hits the pitcher or the pitcher hits the stone, it’s very bad for the pitcher….†The depleted Mets are the pitcher.
gategem
7/1/2009-12:38am at 12:38 am (UTC -4)
All you can ask them to do is to relax while staying focused and play as well as they can eliminating the mental and if possible physical mistakes. Will they be better than the .333 baseball they played this month? I hope so but it’s possible this is what they are until the Calvary arrives.
darknova306
7/1/2009-6:31am at 6:31 am (UTC -4)
This is another reason why Manuel needs to be fired. I liked his honesty about not having even an everage ballclub, but you can’t say that to the media. This is a joke.
I’ll support and watch my Mets, but the only I have right now is that a new GM in the offseason blows up the team and rebuilds properly.
darknova306
7/1/2009-6:38am at 6:38 am (UTC -4)
Should say: “the only *hope* I have right now…”
rustyjr
7/1/2009-6:39am at 6:39 am (UTC -4)
i agree mf4d
tkfj
7/1/2009-12:48am at 12:48 am (UTC -4)
Johan has pitched the exact opposite of an ace lately. Big games we need to have are the ones he falters in. We already have a DL riddled team, and now we have our ace pitcher stinking the joint up.
Slap us in the face some more.
darknova306
7/1/2009-6:28am at 6:28 am (UTC -4)
Yeah, I’m sick of him walking opposing pitchers and then getting pissed at his teammates. You’re a man, Johan, or so you’d like us to believe. Go out there and act like one….
dirtysanchez
7/1/2009-1:12am at 1:12 am (UTC -4)
Thanks for the laugh grave…..we need it