On many levels the Mets are Mystery Men.Â On one level a casual fan of baseball looks at a box score and asks their more baseball-savvy friend “who are these guys?”Â On another level the Mets are indeed a dysfunctional group of unlikely heroes with attributes that are at best questionable considering their task, winning baseball games.
First there is “The Blue Raja,” who hurls silverware at his foes but refuses to throw knives because “you can’t try and stop a crime by committing an even worse one.”Â Recently Johan Santana has taken the Raja’s mantra to heart, as he has stopped striking people out.
Next there is “Mr. Furious,” who unleashes tremendous strength when angry, but seldom finds himself upset about anything.Â David Wright might perhaps benefit from getting a bit angry.
Next there is “The Shoveler,” who is able to use a shovel in a marvelous variety of ways.Â I have heard that Brian Schneider is quite capable with a shovel.Â Unfortunately he can’t bring one to the batter’s box.
Next there is “The Spleen,” who with properly aimed flatulence can knock out any foe, but most of the time he just stinks.Â Luis Castillo anyone?
Then there is “Invisible Boy,” who can become invisible but reportedly only when no one is looking.Â He pretty much sums up everyone on the disabled list, because as much as I try to imagine them in the lineup I just can’t see them.
Lastly there is “The Bowler,” who has a bowling ball which contains the spirit of her deceased father and when she communicates with his spirit and throws the ball it will fly a short distance.Â David Wright leads the team with 12 errors so he could be The Bowler, but he’s already Mr. Furious so The Bowler will have to be Daniel Murphy who is second on the team with 7 errors.
So today the New York Mystery Men sent The Blue Raja to the mound against the Philadelphia Phillies.Â Without any knives to throw, Raja struck out only 3 Phillies while allowing them to hit 2 solo home runs, 1 each by Jimmy Rollins and Chase Utley.Â Raja allowed only those 2 runs on 3 hits over 7 innings, but with an offense backing up Raja comprised of The Shoveler, Mr. Furious, The Spleen and Invisible Boy, 2 runs was enough for Philadelphia.
The Shoveler was wholly inept, never getting the ball out of the infield in 3 at bats, perhaps because he couldn’t use a shovel.
Mr. Furious exhibited tremendous calm, striking out twice and grounding into a 4-6-3 double play with the bases loaded in the 6th inning to end the Mystery Men’s only real threat.
The Spleen reached base every time up but the odor emitted by his 2 singles and a walk was simply not powerful enough to repel the Phillies.
The Bowler managed not to throw anything away today, but merely doing his job wasn’t enough.
The Invisible Man was not evident throughout the lineup.Â You especially couldn’t see him at 1B, SS and CF.
Visit yahoo.com for the box score.