This Sunday, I get to run around the bases at CitiField. The Mets are going to let us season ticket holders dash to first base, second, third and home (sounds like a hopeful high school date) after the final game of the season. This is either going to be a blast or I’m gonna feel like a total dweeb, or both – but I’m gonna do it anyway. (I’ll try and post some pics or video afterward; might as well share my geekiness with everyone.)
It’s obvious this run around is a salve, a bribe, the Mets’ idea of a make-good after this Bataan Death March of a season (and my pre-emptive apologies to any survivors of for using that horrific atrocity as a feckless sports analogy). I know it, they know I know it, I know they know I know it, they know…oh, you know. But I don’t care. I’m doin’ it anyway. But it’s like giving someone a dollar after they’ve pelted you with rotten eggs. The Rotten Eggs…er, I mean the Mets (slight error), are going to have to do much better than a romp around the infield if they want me back in 2010 (that price cut is a start).
But if I come back, we’ve got to get some things straight. For a recap, here is Part 1 and Part 2.
And here are the final three of my Nine Things That Make Me Go Hmmm.
3. Two Drink Maximum: There are security folks wandering around CitiField with shirts emblazoned “Alcohol Compliance Supervisor.” I like to jokingly observe this title to mean they are there to make sure we all drink our fill. But alcohol compliance seems to be a joke to other folks who mistake CitiField for a sports bar with a REALLY big 3D HDTV. Beer vendors not cutting off obviously toasted tipplers is a post-game vehicular fatality lawsuit waiting to happen. But it’s not the slew of suds sots swig that makes me go hmmm. It’s what inebriates are willing to pay. If you’re going to get sloshed, why would you pay $6.50 (plus the de rigueur 50 cents “keep the change” tip) a dose for it? Why not wait until after the game and buy a cheap six-pack? But I know how this works: you buy the first beer because you need something to wash down the hot dog and, what the hell, you’re at a ball game. On the second, you figure you’ve already blown your budget on the first beer. By the third, you’re too happy to complain. By the fourth, someone else is helping you figure out how many bills to give the vendor. This accelerating alcohol pricing apathy reminds me of this piece of logic from Groucho: “We’ll serve them a blue plate special that’ll knock their eyes out. After we knock their eyes out, we can charge ‘em anything we want!”
2. The Wave: Seriously, do I even have to comment further? Oh, well, we’re all here, so… CitiField’s baseball-in-the-round construction has made it easier for a never-ending wave. I don’t mean to be a curmudgeon. People seem to get a kick out it, so who am I to complain. But at Citi, at least earlier in the year, fans waved in the middle of a rally! Really? The game’s not interesting enough for you? We complain about the price of tickets, then decide to entertain ourselves? All right, maybe I do mean to be a curmudgeon. But even if the wave is defendable – what impels a person to bring a beach ball to a baseball game? It’s not like you’re going to go home with it.
And the top Thing That Makes Me Go Hmmm:
1. Sunshine Patriots: Ya know, I’m getting a little sick of hearing and reading “Oh, I can’t watch the Mets anymore,” etc. At my poker game a couple of weeks back we were watching the Mets, and my table mates (all Mets fans) poked a bit of fun at me when I reacted with a shriek when one of our boys got a hit or made a good play. “What’s the point?” they asked. I’ll tell you what the point is. What is it that defines a fan? Loyalty and fidelity, that’s what. I applaud folks who still come out to CitiField and root our boys on. Good on ya! These folks know you don’t only cheer for your team when they’re doing well. I almost hated it when Shea was rockin’ with rabid rooters. I wonder where all these people were back in the fallow 1990s when I had Shea practically to myself. A team needs its fans most not when it’s winning but when times are tough.
Does the following sound familiar?
“These are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.”
If Thomas Paine were alive today, he’d surely be a Mets fan. Sure, the future looks grim. I could continue the Paine strain and cite some corny clichés about picking yourself up when things look the worst (the most effective was John Belushi’s “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?!” pep chant in Animal House). But let’s just leave it as semper friggin’ fi and Let’s Go Mets!
9 comments
prismo
10/2/2009-8:24am at 8:24 am (UTC -4)
Two drink maximum? You can take your two drink maximum and shove it up your gluteus maximus. I agree that fans should be responsible when drinking, no matter where they’re doing it, but you’re drawing the line at the wrong step. If a fan (who isn’t planning on driving home) wants to get drunk at a game, as long as it doesn’t bother anyone else, GO FOR IT! I don’t see anything wrong with a group of friends having a few beers in the parking lot before a game (this saves on your beer costs) and going to the game buzzed. I don’t think adults should or need to be policed 24/7 on their behavior.
Just be responsible for yourself and don’t be a **** to others and it’s all good. Be prepared to get kicked out if you make a scene or consistently curse in front of kids…and have a designated driver.
And for the record, I’ve never been drunk at a baseball game. I would just like the right to do so if I please.
stickguy
10/2/2009-9:55am at 9:55 am (UTC -4)
this message sponsored by the “get the wilpons back their madoff money” society of Queens.
Kingman 26
10/2/2009-8:48am at 8:48 am (UTC -4)
Nice work Mr. Baby…and while I must admit that I have not watched as much the last month as earlier in the season (somewhat due to being really busy, not solely due to the horrors of what I expose myself to by watching), I most definitely do get psyched when the boys do something good—at this point, it is in my blood, and it is almost an involuntary reaction.
stickguy
10/2/2009-10:00am at 10:00 am (UTC -4)
Good stuff today MB. At this oint, even the 2 beers makes yo sweat financially! A few in the lot while tailgating, then 1-2 is pelnty to take the edge off of how poorly the team handles the fundis.
last game I was at (mid-august) some guy came in our section (field, next to the apple) and managed to incite the wave. Damned thing went around about 6 times. I was appalled, especially since it was Livan’s last game, and they were getting smoked at the time.
finally, for your last point, I rambled on a couple of times recently in the comments along this line. It is fine to be fed up or burnt out by this season, but if you are a fan, you are supposed to stay that way! and some of the posters at various sites (they are dead to me!) do sound like idiots.
But hey, if you now hate the Mets because they haven’t won the last 3 WS, then get the hell off the bus and find another team to root for that will make you happier (I hear the Phils and Yankees are still hiring. ANd the fans are such a nice bunch of people!)
CaseStreet
10/2/2009-10:39am at 10:39 am (UTC -4)
I never understood the people that do the wave at any game that is not a blowout. Watch the game!
darknova306
10/2/2009-11:51am at 11:51 am (UTC -4)
I’ll agree with you on the wave wholeheartedly. I hate it. The first game I went to in Citi was in May when Pelf pitched against the Nats. It was a close, kinda tense game, then the wave went around 10 times without stopping. It angered me.
I disagree with the alcohol comment to a degree. I want the option to get drunk at a game, but I’d like people to show some restraint sometimes.
I’ll admit I haven’t watched games as often the past month or two, but I’ve still watched at least 2 a week. I remember 93, the bits I haven’t blacked out of my memory that is, so I can make it through this year.
dirtysanchez
10/2/2009-11:57am at 11:57 am (UTC -4)
lol great series baby! Very original! Totally agreed about the top 3!
GravediggerHebner
10/2/2009-11:57am at 11:57 am (UTC -4)
The only thing I like about the wave is when it fails to make it all the way around the stadium due to the (proper IMO) disinterest of the crowd, and then those who DID want it to succeed boo. I love that!
gipperpdx
10/2/2009-2:23pm at 2:23 pm (UTC -4)
Agreed on the wave being inappropriate except during routs. Disagree on the booze rule…if people want to get smashed at the game, or help the Mets by paying outrageous beer prices…fine by me, as long as they take the train from the game and don’t bother others.