Lets face it the Mets offense was no where to be found in yesterdays putrid 2-1 loss to the Pittsburgh Pirates, essentially wasting yet another strong start for Johan Santana.
While the Mets bats were awol yesterday it made me wonder why couldn’t Ollie Perez be too? So I was wondering if the Mets ever cut ” The Sultan Of Suckitude” what line of work would he be suitable for .
So here it is , The top 10 jobs that Oliver Perez would be born to do .
10. Millitary Intellegence .
09. Morning drive disc jockey for WFAN ( face it if Craig Carton can do it why not our hunk of dead weight).
08. Alpaca inseminator.
07. Omar Minaya’s assistant G.M.
06. The new moron at the “Shoot the Freak” attraction at Coney Island.
05. Crash Test Dummy
04. Frankie Rodriguez’s sparring partner.
03.Hat rack
02. Jeff Wilpon’s personal food taster.
And at number one with a whimper – Fred Wilpon’s financial analyst !
If you have any other possible career moves for Ollie please feel free to post them below.
” Perfect job for Ollie – MOUND WARMER !!!”
And with that said…. HERE COMES THE INFAMY !!!!!
Celebrating a Birthdays today are:
Omar Minaya’s answer to getting younger Met’s outfielder/pinch hitter from ’06-’07 Julio ” Father Time” Franco is allegedly 52 (1958) .
Gary Carter’s understudy from the ’86 team, Ed Hearn is 50 today (1960) .
The ” Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle” himself, catcher, Raul Casanova is 38 (1972) .
One time outfield prospect who would go bust, Prentice Redman is 31 (1979) .
One time one time prospect who went bust, pitcher, Pat Strange is 30 (1980) .
New York Mets traded utility man, Gary Bennett to the Colorado Rockies for minor league outfielder, Ender Chavez on August 23, 2001.
And lastly Mo Vaughn is considering hiring Oliver Perez as his own personal batting practice pitcher/ ball gopher
13 comments
njstuckintx
8/23/2010-8:40am at 8:40 am (UTC -4)
No way he could be #4, as he’s never put up much of a fight before. Then again, I wasn’t there to see if common-law-in-law did either. Do you think Frankie is going to kill his C-L-I-N for basically helping him to un-guarantee his contract?
Dirtysanchez
8/23/2010-9:26am at 9:26 am (UTC -4)
Well im sure he makes a hellova card dealer at the mets pre game card games lol
stickguy
8/23/2010-11:10am at 11:10 am (UTC -4)
I think he would make a wonderful Pinata.
I also wonder if they will just tell him to stay home for september (after rosters expand), and not even bother to show up and dress. Just to get him away from the team.
and no, he will not be released until ever option in the off season has ben exhausted for trying to trade him for anything. Even on a GM jr. type deal.
and yes, the lure of the “young lefty with stuff, waiting to put it all together” will suck in some other poor GM, if he comes cheap enough.
wonder if they can trade him for a like contract of a RF with some pop that has worn out his welcome?
Man, I cant wait for all the hot stove off season speculation. I might have to even right up a post for that!
GravediggerHebner
8/23/2010-11:55am at 11:55 am (UTC -4)
Border Patrol along Arizona/Mexico line.
metsfan4decades
8/23/2010-2:38pm at 2:38 pm (UTC -4)
Just another example of poor decisions by the FO that has turned this franchise into a circus.
Perez should have been released by now. There is no smart defense, even $$, that can be made for why he’s sitting out in the BP night after night, getting paid to do nothing.
stickguy
8/23/2010-2:48pm at 2:48 pm (UTC -4)
I believe that the FO feels they can still get a viable, decent return for him in the off seaosn. THe are probably right, and that is enough to get them to carry him until 9/1.
Dirtysanchez
8/23/2010-2:53pm at 2:53 pm (UTC -4)
stick…they are literally paying him NOT to play. The man hasnt thrown a pitch in a major league game since august 1st…its the 23rd already.
oleosmirf
8/23/2010-2:58pm at 2:58 pm (UTC -4)
no they just dont want to pay him to play for another organization as a matter of principle.
why would any team trade for perez unless they are giving up something worse in return??
metsfan4decades
8/23/2010-3:34pm at 3:34 pm (UTC -4)
Whether it’s what stick suggests or oleo…either way it just one more example on a poor management decision that’s adding to bringing this whole team down, IMO.
njstuckintx
8/23/2010-4:20pm at 4:20 pm (UTC -4)
All depends on your definition of “decent return”. Is that is a prospect of any ability? Or more likely a six pack of Schmidts and a coupon for buy a dozen, get the 2nd dozen at half price from White Castle? At this point, I’d bargin for Pabst vs. Schmidts, but take what I could get at this point.
stickguy
8/23/2010-4:31pm at 4:31 pm (UTC -4)
Schmidts. fine memories of HS and college, when we could get a case at cork and keg for $4. Not the best beer, but the best value we liked to say. Being broke and cheap, that was a big plus. Especially when you used it in “volume”
as for return, anything that gives a body or too and some modest salary relief. Say, they trade Ollie + 10mill and get back a couple of B/C prospects. That is actually doable.
Or, they trade him for a RF, RP or SP that makes about the same amount of money, but also needs a change of scenery.
I know many of us just want him released, but that is paying his full salary and getting zero back. And anything is greater than zero.
And even though he is wasting a rostdr spot, Jerry ignores the last man in the pen anyway. Heck, he pitches Dessans about oas often as Ollie!
GravediggerHebner
8/23/2010-4:38pm at 4:38 pm (UTC -4)
I also have a Schmidts story which I hope the statute of limitations has expired on.
When I was a teen (so yup it’s expired) a deli “a town over” suddenly went out of business. They simply locked the doors but all the stock was still inside. Some “friends” and I “broke in” and helped ourselves to girlie magazines, snacks and beer. They didn’t have much but had a couple cases of warm Schmidts which we carried out the “door” and to a construction site where we sat and drank them.
Good times.
njstuckintx
8/23/2010-4:57pm at 4:57 pm (UTC -4)
Only real schmidt’s memories were of being broke, going to the valley view in West Milford and getting mystery cases (cause we knew the owners). Mystery cases, for those not in the know, was going “hey, i have $8 or $10, what can you assemble for me”. so, out would come the cardboard box and every 1 off beer (with dust on the top of them most likely) came out to assemble the 18-24 beers that our pooled money would get us that weekend. would lead to some nasty schlitz to schmidts to pabst to bud dry to reingold combos.