Lets face it the Mets offense was no where to be found in yesterdays putrid 2-1 loss to the Pittsburgh Pirates, essentially wasting yet another strong start for Johan Santana.
While the Mets bats were awol yesterday it made me wonder why couldn’t Ollie Perez be too? So I was wondering if the Mets ever cut ” The Sultan Of Suckitude” what line of work would he be suitable for .
So here it is , The top 10 jobs that Oliver Perez would be born to do .
10. Millitary Intellegence .
09. Morning drive disc jockey for WFAN ( face it if Craig Carton can do it why not our hunk of dead weight).
08. Alpaca inseminator.
07. Omar Minaya’s assistant G.M.
06. The new moron at the “Shoot the Freak” attraction at Coney Island.
05. Crash Test Dummy
04. Frankie Rodriguez’s sparring partner.
02. Jeff Wilpon’s personal food taster.
And at number one with a whimper – Fred Wilpon’s financial analyst !
If you have any other possible career moves for Ollie please feel free to post them below.
” Perfect job for Ollie – MOUND WARMER !!!”
And with that said…. HERE COMES THE INFAMY !!!!!
Celebrating a Birthdays today are:
Omar Minaya’s answer to getting younger Met’s outfielder/pinch hitter from ’06-’07 Julio ” Father Time” Franco is allegedly 52 (1958) .
Gary Carter’s understudy from the ’86 team, Ed Hearn is 50 today (1960) .
The ” Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle” himself, catcher, Raul Casanova is 38 (1972) .
One time outfield prospect who would go bust, Prentice Redman is 31 (1979) .
One time one time prospect who went bust, pitcher, Pat Strange is 30 (1980) .
New York Mets traded utility man, Gary Bennett to the Colorado Rockies for minor league outfielder, Ender Chavez on August 23, 2001.
And lastly Mo Vaughn is considering hiring Oliver Perez as his own personal batting practice pitcher/ ball gopher