We all live in several realities.
In one the house or apartment is in constant need of attention and repair. The job is - what can I tell you - the job with its own stresses. There is always lots to worry about.
So we baseball fans head to another reality. As Mets fans we try to pretend that we're pulling for a legitimate major league team. I know that I am writing this while the club is over .500 but I'm a Mets agnostic if not a true non-believer.
But some days and nights they make for an acceptable retreat from the "real" world.
And then there's the world that's been created on our TV sets.
I'm old enough to remember my father taking tubes out of our set and schlepping a few blocks to a hardware store where they had the tube-tester machine. He'd find the faulty one, buy a new one, and install it. Voila, in glorious black and white, we were back in business.
So watching the boob tube for over 50 years I have seen thousands of unforgettable characters and tens of thousands of forgettable ones. Recently it seemed to me that I was noticing a resemblance between some TV characters and some Mets players and officials. I've put some together here for you to peruse. Sorry if I've gone back to before you were born on some of these.
Let's start at the patriarch level.
If the Mets had a well respected owner like the Angels had in the Gene Autry days then the logical pairing would be with the wonderful patriarch Ben Cartwright from the show BONANZA. Ben was tough but fair and cared for the local townsfolks as well as his employees. Does that sound like Fred Wilpon to you? Me neither.
I've paired Fred with J.R. Ewing's daddy, Jock Ewing, from the original incarnation of the series DALLAS. Jock was tough too but not so fair and the story goes that he swindled "Digger" Barnes out of his rights to Texas oil and the massive Southfork Ranch. I suppose in this scenario Nelson Doubleday can be seen as Digger.
The feud has continued right up until the present day on the TNT network.
Then there's our old friend Jeffie, Fred's son. You know the kind of guy who just oozes of self interest. The kind of guy you feel like going up to and saying: "I don't know you but I sure despise you." The TV character that most reminds me of Jeff Wilpon is Conrad Grayson from REVENGE. While Emily Thorn is busying herself bringing down the Graysons I hope she has some energy left to do the same to the Wilpons.
The character that reminds me of Terry Collins is Colonel Henry Blake of MASH. Henry would like to run some kind of normal outfit but his cast of characters (in Terry's case those pesky players) makes every week fraught with unexpected surprises.
For comedy relief the Mets have their PR director, Jay Horwitz. Jay's been sitting and standing around for decades making people laugh just being himself. I ask you if that's not exactly the type of person we called NORM!!!! at CHEERS?
One of, if not the greatest Met on the field, was Tom Seaver. Undeniable baseball talent, fluency of speech, and a beautiful blonde wife. But what one hears is that Tom Terrific wasn't so terrific when the cameras and mikes were not on him. It was said that he was more often than not brusk and surly when we common folk approached. All in all I think the best comp for Seaver is MAD MEN's Don Draper.
When I think of Keith Hernandez I think of his illustrious baseball career that made him ever so recognizable in St.Louis and New York. We have learned that while he retains appreciable knowledge of the game he also has a tendency to say things, intentionally or not, that bring howls of laughter to his fellow announcers and to his listeners on SNY. Now where could we find a similar TV character. I'd say it's Sam Malone from CHEERS.
The Mets' captain is a handsome, selfless, leader universally respected in the baseball community. I think he matches up well with another David, this one Prince Charming from ONCE UPON A TIME.
At the other end of the baseball competency spectrum is our poor beleaguered shortstop who is constantly being hounded by fans, media, and even his own front office. Seemingly nothing he does is up to the expectations that have been set for him. When I see Ruben I think of Raj Koothrappali from the BIG BANG THEORY.
Even among some oddballs like Leonard, Sheldon, and Howard it is Raj who can't land a girl friend, let alone a wife.
Then there's the lumbering firstbaseman. This comp goes back to BONANZA too but Lucas reminds me ever so much of Hoss Cartwright, another mountain of a man, extremely slow to anger but exuding awesome power.
Matt Harvey is our rehabilitating gun slinger and a fellow with a fiercely independent attitude and bullheaded nature at times. Out of the old west the gun slinger that I would comp to Matt was Paladin from my favorite all-time western TV show HAVE GUN, WILL TRAVEL. (If you're old enough to recall the show then in your ears you are hearing "da da da da" as his professional card comes into view.)
Even though Justin Turner has taken his antics to California as a member of the LA Dodgers I always saw him paired with one of the most obsequious characters ever on TV. I'm referring to Eddie Haskell of LEAVE IT TO BEAVER. I could just see Justin saying things like, "Oh, Mrs. Cleaver, those brownies smell ever so good. I wonder how you can keep this house so well run and still have time to look so lovely yourself." Meanwhile he's busy stirring up trouble for Wally and giving Beaver a noogie along the way.
And our last two comps come primarily from physical similarities. The Mets' backup catcher is Anthony Recker who is most often described as "incredibly handsome." That's a nice trait to have but in a professional ballplayer you'd kind of like to hear stuff like: "Can hit, can field, can throw." The TV character with similar eye catching looks is Seely Booth, the studly FBI agent married to BONES on the show of the same name.
And I won't even mention the part of the face that one notices quickly viewing platoon 1bman Josh Satin. But isn't it the same one you notice on Frank Reagan, the New York City Police Commissioner, in BLUE BLOODS?
Larry writes a humor column for us at The Real Dirty Mets Blog once or more per week. You can follow Larry on Twitter at https://twitter.com/@dr4sight
There he comments on the teams that drive him crazy: the Mets, both NY football teams, the NY Rangers (congrats to them for moving on in the playoffs), and the Knicks (ptooey to them).