"I'm a stupid moron, with an ugly face, and a big butt, and my butt smells, and I like to kiss my own butt."Johan Santana lost (and lost it) as the Milwaukee Brewers defeated the New York Mets 6-3.   Santana made an awful throwing error that concluded an awful bottom half of the 4th inning. With one out, Santana walked the opposing pitcher Mike Burns.   Then Corey Hart hit a fly ball that CF Fernando Martinez overran, and slipped making the adjustment to get back to it as it fell behind him for a double.   Then Santana walked J.J. Hardy to load the bases.   Pitching coach Dan Warthen visited Santana on the mound, then as he was heading back to the dugout had words with home plate umpire Jim Wolf (brother of Randy) and was ejected.   Then Ryan Braun hit a double over LF Gary Sheffield's head, clearing the bases.   Braun advanced to third on the throw home, which got past catcher Omir Santos.   Santana picked it up and fired it over the head of third baseman David Wright into left field and Braun completed his trek around the bases, giving the Brewers a 5-2 lead.Having now lost 5 in a row, the Mets have Moe-mentum.   The harder they try, the more things go wrong.   So to make what would inevitably be another horrible post game wrap a little more fun, I've decided to take some popular Moe Szyslak (owner/operator of Moe's Tavern as seen in 'The Simpsons') lines and alter them a little bit to be more Mets-relevant.   Enjoy!
  • Met fans, lighten up!   You're making happy hour bitterly ironic.
  • The Phillies think they're so high and mighty, just because they never got caught driving without pants.
  • The Mets are better than dirt.   Well, most kinds of dirt.   Not that fancy store bought stuff, they can't compete with that.
  • Hey Met fans, what's with the glum face?   You glum or something?   Eh, glummy?
  • I was the happiest guy in the world, but fate likes to play a little game called "Up Yours, Met Fan!"
  • The Mets have been called ugly, pug ugly, fugly, pug fugly, but never ugly ugly.
  • Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but the Mets are no good at anything.
and in conclusion
  • This is the stupidest post game wrap I've ever read...and I've read the entire 'Sweet Valley High' series.
Please visit fox sports for the box score.After the last out