Our little drama today takes place at the front door of Mets General Manager Sandy Alderson.
Picture two cute little girls in uniform ringing the bell.
SA: Why hello. What's this?
Denise: Hi Mr. Alderson. I'm Denise Montgomery and this is my sister Alicia. That's our dad over by the car. You may remember us from a few weeks ago when we came here trick-or-treating for Halloween.
Alicia: Thank you for the M&M. It was delicious.
SA: And what can I do for you ladies today?
D: As you can see we're Girl Scouts and we're just starting our month of selling Girl Scout Cookies and wonder whether you'd like to buy some.
SA: As a matter of fact, Mrs. Alderson and I love Girl Scout cookies. Tell me what you have and we'll see if we can do business.
D: This year we have five kinds. Let's see if I can remember. Oh yeah. There's Thin Mints, Caramel Delights, Peanut Butter Patties, Lemonades, and Thank U Berry Munch.
SA: Wow. That many and they all sound so good. Although I recall having the Peanut Butter ones once and didn't care all that much for them. I guess to each one's own.
D: They're just $4.00 a box with a minimum order of six boxes.
SA: Boy, times have certainly changed. Back years ago when we lived in Oakland you could buy just one box at a time and I remember them going for like about a dollar and half per box. Are you quite sure you can't do better than $4.00 and maybe sell us just one or two boxes?
D: I'm sorry Mr. Alderson but our scoutmaster was quite clear on this.
SA: The price really kind of shook me...
D: My daddy says that everything these days costs a lot more than it used to.
SA: I can see that your daddy is a smart man. How about this. Let me think about it and talk it over with some friends and advisors. Maybe you can come back in a few weeks and we can discuss this more.
D: Sure Mr. Alderson. Bye.
TWO WEEKS PASS. THE GIRLS RETURN.
D: Hi Mr. Alderson it's us again. Would you like to order some cookies now?
SA: I've been working on my financing spreadsheet and I think I'm ready to order. Our favorites are the Thin Mints so we'll take four boxes of those.
D: I'm sorry sir. But remember, the minimum order is for six boxes AND we're all out of the Thin Mints. Mr. Cashman who lives across the street likes them too and ordered the entire 10 boxes in our allotment. We still have a good number of the Caramel Delights, Lemonades, and Peanut Butter Patties left.
SA: Well, that's a disappointment. That Cashman guy is always waving his wallet around. Oh, well. Maybe we can order three boxes of the Caramel Delights.
D: Six boxes sir.
SA: Just can't do it. I guess we're at an impasse. Not sure what to do - if anything.
D: Would you like us to come back in a few weeks?
SA: Sure. That would be great. Mrs. Alderson really does like them but there's the budget and everything to consider.
TWO MORE WEEKS PASS. HERE ARE THE GIRL SCOUTS AGAIN
D: Hi Mr. Alderson. Today's the last day to order the cookies.
SA: I suppose it's now or never for this cookie season.
D: We've sold just about our entire allotment. Actually all we have left are two boxes of the Peanut Butter Patties. And I remember you saying that you actually didn't like them all that much. But because the boxes are slightly damaged the scoutmaster has said we could sell them for just $1.50 per box. Chances are that some or maybe all of the cookies are broken.
SA: My preference would have been not to have damaged goods but the price is more within our framework so I'll take both boxes. You've got a deal!
As the girls walk away from Alderson's door Denise says to her sister: "Now I know why daddy doesn't root for the Mets anymore."
Larry writes a humor column for us at The Real Dirty Mets Blog once or more per week. You can follow Larry on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/dr4sight There he comments on the teams that drive him crazy: the Mets, both NY football teams, the NY Rangers, and the Knicks.