I was tempted to title this article "BREAKING IKE DAVIS NEWS" but then I would have to tell you that nothing is actually new on the Ike Davis front.  That would be a cruel thing to do to Mets fans who already have to deal with the reality of Wilpon ownership.  Can't be heaping more on top of that.

But while we're here let's talk about everybody's pal Ike.

Those of us who still have landline phones are always receiving recorded spammy phone calls.  I think many of them start with the words "Don't hang up."   I say I think they start with those three words because normally by the time I hear "Don't hang...", I've hung up.

But I could imagine at this point every major league general manager has received a call that sounds like this:

"DON'T HANG UP!  This is Sandy Alderson.  If you are interested in sending your number one pitching prospect to us in trade for Ike Davis please stay on the line and a live member of my staff will be with you in a moment.   If it is inconvenient for you to speak to us at this time then please call us back at a time suitable for you on our Ike Davis hotline.  The number is 1-888-WANT-IKE.   Thank you and have a nice day."

This all goes to the point that the Mets now desperately want to trade Ike Davis.  They are equally desperate to hand Lucas Duda the long half of a firstbase platoon.  And they really really want a young prospect - make that TOP PROSPECT - pitcher in return.

Let's analyze all these things.

I can see where the front office doesn't want to pay over $3 million to a guy who hits like Rey Ordonez for the first few months of the season.  But this Ike auction has become like a Russian funeral dirge.

I'll admit that I was pleasantly surprised when Sandy got Zach Wheeler for Beltran and surprised again when he turned R.A. Dickey into d'Arnaud and Syndegaard.  But we're peddling Ikie Davis here so we have to dial down the expectations - way down.

Then there's the Lucas Duda part of the equation.  Why is it so crucial to hand that guy the job?  Is the rule of thumb that the worse a guy is in the outfield the better he is as a  firstbaseman?   Because that's the way the Amazins are acting.  As bad as we think Ike Davis might be offensively in 2014 do we really expect Lucas Duda to be THAT much better?  And if not, are we just looking to be offensively incompetent for less money?

And why must the return be a prospect pitcher?   Last time I looked there were all sorts of positions where the Mets on the field could be improved.  By limiting himself to just one kind of baseball player isn't Alderson missing out on the chance to find a prospect shortstop or outfielder who just might be able to contribute?

I've read the conspiracy theories as to how Alderson will get a marvy pitching prospect for Ike which will free him to trade a pitcher for someone else's shortstop.  I suppose that's possible.  But my gut feeling is that Alderson just decided he wants a pitcher for Ike and bye-cracky that's what he's going for.

Stay tuned for updates on the Ike Davis situation, aka Mets fans held hostage, over the coming weeks and months.



Larry writes a humor column for us at The Real Dirty Mets Blog once or  more per week. You can follow Larry on Twitter at @dr4sight There he comments on the teams that drive him crazy: the Mets, both NY football teams, the NY Rangers, and the Knicks.