It's the winter meetings - a time when anything is possible EXCEPT if you root for the Mets.  In that case almost nothing good is possible.

If you follow Twitter or visit MLB Trade Rumors enough you start to see some of the same phrases over and over again.  And when they are about the Mets, or worse still, from the Mets the bile just has to start flowing.

Let's look at some of those things.

METS ARE TALKING TO CESAR IZTURIS
Are you friggen kidding me?  Did they say to themselves "we just unloaded Justin Turner.  Wonder if there's a worse older player to pick up for his spot?"   This guy was awful when he was young and healthy and now he's neither.

WE'RE HAPPY WITH RUBEN TEJADA's OFFSEASON WORK 
So you banish the kid to Las Vegas for all but the last couple of weeks.  Then you make sure we know that you'll be scouring the free agent and trade market for someone better and now it's:  "hello Ruby".

WE'RE PAST THE ECONOMIC PROBLEMS OF THE LAST FEW YEARS 
Yeah, right.  How a New York based team with a relatively new ballpark and its own TV network has to limit itself to an approximately $87 million payroll in this environment is beyond comprehension.  In round numbers you hear that the Wilpons might be like $1 billion in debt still.  But then the business magazines say the team is worth $2 billion.  So how about this Wilpons/Katz:  sell the team and divvy up your $1 billion profit.
Failing that move your payroll up to something respectable befitting a team in a gigantic media market.

WE HAVE TWO PLAYERS (Ike and Duda) FOR ONE POSITION SO WE'LL LIKELY TRADE ONE
Hey brilliant baseball minds.  A year ago you had the same two mismatched parts.  Wasn't anyone in the entire front office man enough to stand up and say, "we have two firstbasemen and there's no real indication that either can play the outfield at all competently.  Why don't we trade one now when their value and potential are quite high?"

OUR OFFENSE NEEDS TO BE IMPROVED.  LET'S TRADE OUR SECOND BEST HITTER
You guys sign outfielder Chris Young who has power and can do some damage against lefthanded pitching (when he's healthy).  You give him $7 million on a one year deal but for Daniel Murphy, a guy who's played almost every inning the past two years and is pretty much a lock to hit .290 with a slew of doubles, ponying up $5 million in arbitration is an insult.
So then what?  Eric Young to 2B perhaps?  Why not just bring back Luis Castillo?===========================================================

Larry writes a humor column for us at The Real Dirty Mets Blog once or more per week. You can follow Larry on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/dr4sight  There he comments on the teams that drive him crazy: the Mets, both NY football teams, the NY Rangers, and the Knicks