Even though he's been gone for decades I believe many or most of you are familiar with the classic Johnny Carson character Carnac the Magnificent. For those of you who aren't here's a description from Wikipedia:
Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions.
Carnac was "assisted" by Johnny's sidekick/foil Ed McMahon who never heard a Carson line that he didn't find roll-on-the-floor funny. For the Di-Jest version of Carnac I have selected a similarly amiable assistant, WFAN's own Ed Coleman.
The way it works is that Ed hands me the envelope which I hold against my turban and then I provide him with the question that fits the answer that I've been given.
For instance if I'm told the answer is "DOWNTON ABBEY" I might respond with the question: "Who is the sister of DOWNTON ANN LANDERS?"
OK, enough lead-in.
The answer is: "75 and 87"
And now I open the envelope to reveal the question: How many games will Travis d'Arnaud and Curtis Granderson play before being placed on the disabled list?
The answer is: "Jason Bay Is Retired"
And the question: What did Gary Cohen say after about 80% of Jason Bay's at bats as a Met?
The answer is::"AROD's 800th homerun"
And the question: What might you see during your 17th Strat-O-Matic replay of the 2005 Yankees' season?
The answer is: "Joan Payson, Nelson Doubleday, and Jeff Wilpon"
The question: Name two beloved former Mets' owners and the guy who got the club's AAA team booted out of Buffalo all the way to Las Vegas
The answer is: "Imaginary numbers"
The question: What would you call them if I told you that Anthony Recker was going to hit .280 with 20 homeruns in 2014?
The answer is: "Daniel Murphy leads the league in hitting and wins the Gold Glove."
The question: With their typical luck what would happen the moment the Mets traded Daniel Murphy?
The answer is: "Bobby Parnell's neck"
The question: What can be found just below Bobby Parnell's head?
and the final answer....
The question: Where in the SNY-TV booth do Gary, Ron, and Keith insist Ralph sit if his lunch is disagreeing with him?
To readers of the Di-Jest and other TRDM articles: Let me recommend a new Android app to you. It's called "All Mets News (Up and Running)". There you can quickly jump to articles from all the major Mets blogs including ours, of course.
Make sure you get the app that says Up and Running because the original version of the app which was just called All Mets News doesn't work.
Larry writes a humor column for us at The Real Dirty Mets Blog once or more per week. You can follow Larry on Twitter at @dr4sight There he comments on the teams that drive him crazy: the Mets, both NY football teams, the NY Rangers, and the Knicks.